Funerals and Coronavirus/ COVID-19   Click here to learn more

Replace ‘shoulds’ with ‘wants’

7th April 2017

We’re not offended when people ask us, ‘How can you do what you do? Isn’t it really sad?’ It’s true, we see a lot of sadness and this isn’t always easy. But people are often surprised to hear that more often than now we’re frequently inspired by the amazing families that we serve and the stories that we hear, and our days involve a lot of laughter too as memories are shared and stories are told. We’re not alone, for you’ll find that other professions who work closely with those going through the more difficult experiences in life often encounter deep value and beauty that is often only found entwined with the hard stuff of life.

This article describes how a hospice nurse is frequently inspired by those she serves. Something in the article really struck, when it describes how the ‘team at the hospice take the pressure off families and allow them to slip back into the roles of wife, husband, daughter, son or friend.’ In a similar way, that’s what the team at Albany encounters frequently: we try and ease or lift burdens from people of what ‘should’ happen so that people are free to choose what is right for them as a wife, or husband, daughter, son or friend. In our culture in the UK when someone dies, a mix of tradition and the expectations of others can suddenly kick in which can prevent us from doing what is really right for us as a family. It will often be found when you find yourself saying ‘I should to this’ or ‘I should have that…’

Shoulds are not the most helpful way of making choices. Instead, consider what is it you really want? What would be the most helpful way of saying goodbye? What did they want and is there a way this can be done in a special way so that it helps those who are present?

Listen to tradition and see what wisdom it has that may help, but don’t be confined by it. Instead, ask these better questions, for our experience is that these questions take you in a better direction and to a funeral or occasion which helps your grief and to a memory that will help you move forward.



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7 months ago

Albany Funerals

This is a lovely article showing that the clergy are also adapting positively and creatively to this terrible situation. We need to change our rituals to stay safe but this doesn’t necessarily mean that they are any less healing. Those who are willing to accept some changes are able to continue to hold truly personal and meaningful funeral ceremonies. We are working with each family individually to find new ways of doing things to bring them comfort in their unique situation. It can be done ♥️

https://thetimes.co.uk/article/b41ddae2-96bb-11ea-97b5-8f15973668de/…
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7 months ago

Albany Funerals

#livinglight
For all those who have died during the pandemic ♥️
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7 months ago

Albany Funerals

Grief during coronavirus - lockdown is particularly tough when you're grieving. Being surrounded by family and friends is so vital when you've lost someone you love. Hopefully you are still able to stay connected to others in some way, If you are struggling - some telephone/video grief counselling might help. It's difficult to 'unload' dark feelings onto family and friends, particularly those who might also be grieving, but it does really help to talk.
https://www.griefchat.co.uk/
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7 months ago

Albany Funerals

7 months ago

Albany Funerals

My thoughts on funerals through coronavirus on NBC. We are often told that we only have once chance to say goodbye to and honour our loved ones.... I think we can look at this differently, and learn to hold rituals in other ways than we are used to, particularly during these times. They can still be healing. ... See MoreSee Less

7 months ago

Albany Funerals

‘That thing you’re feeling is called grief’...This is one of the wisest things I’ve heard in a while. Thank you Hugh
at GK Church for your kindness, and your comforting, and incredibly insightful words through such turbulent times. 🌈
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7 months ago

Albany Funerals

Another beautiful idea bringing people comfort when they cannot come together in their grief during the Covid pandemic. ♥️ ... See MoreSee Less

7 months ago

Albany Funerals
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